On Another's Sorrow
by Lock Owl
Summary: Arwen Evenstar does not understand why she has been forced to leave the only home she has ever known to live in the land of her mother's kin. With the help of a few new friends, though, she will take the chances, break the rules, and learn just how hard i
1. Journey in Silence

Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters are property of Tolkien and I do not own, well, anything, save the organization of words and phrases  
  
Author's Note: I'm really not sure how Elves age, and though I am aware of how many years Arwen had been alive when her mother left for the Havens, I'm not sure exactly how many mortal years that's equal to. I'm shooting with fifteen, and I apologize if that's at all off (and for those of you who argue how young that would make her when she weds Aragorn, well, just look at Juliet Capulet)  
  
***  
  
"You are not being sent away, Arwen, nor have you done anything at all wrong. . ."  
  
Yes, yes, Arwen thought, keep talking, surely you will comfort me for being sent away from my home at hardly a moment's notice, surely you will make me feel much about your betraying me, about my cowardly brothers being away at this time, not even here to defend me or say goodbye. Surely your words will console me. In her head these thoughts dripped with sarcasm, and in her head they remained.  
  
". . .no one ever fully understands what the Lady Galadriel has in mind, but she does mean well. . ."  
  
Mean well? Ha! I've met toads with better intentions! Arwen's bitter thoughts did not show on her face, for she had trained herself to be of stone, and show not her pain. She would not give anyone the pleasure of having made her cry.  
  
". . .and your brothers and I still love you, but this is for the best. You are still always welcome in the valley of the Elves. . ."  
  
When it's convenient for you, I'm sure, she thought, cursing the day she was born. The day she was born the Lady of the wood must have looked into her magical mirror and said, 'Well, here's a pretty child--' for she was not vain, but Arwen was often told she was a beauty, and that it was said at her birth that she was just that, a pretty child '--why not make her suffer? Yes, I do believe we shall uproot her from her home when she reaches the right age, but let's make sure she has only one parent by this time so her memories will go as well. . .'  
  
"Oh, Arwen. Won't you at least look at me?"  
  
Arwen looked up at her father, a cold, steel look in her eyes. She wanted him to feel knives in his heart, to know that she hated him and always would. She wanted him to cry, as he kept telling her she was free to. Lord Elrond did not cry, but he did cup his daughter's head in his hands, kiss her forehead, and tell her it was all for the best.  
  
*****  
  
Galadriel did not see herself as a cold person, nor did she see herself as being by any means cruel. However, the grimacing stares her granddaughter had been giving her for the past two weeks suggested that not everyone shared Galadriel's view of herself. Sullen Arwen had hardly spoken a word since leaving Imladris. Had she had things her way she would not have, and to her knowledge she had not, spoken a single word. However many late nights Galadriel had heard the girl crying out for her mother, suffering nightmares. Not that she had ever admitted to it in waking, of course.  
  
Now as the trees of Lothlorien surrounded the two riders, a single tear fell from Arwen's eye, leaving a trail of moisture on her cheek and falling to the ground. It was not that it seemed an awful place, indeed the trees seemed unnaturally friendly and the foliage seemed to whisper a welcome. Still. . ."Lady," Arwen said, speaking of free will for the first time since she had left Rivendell, "I do not want to be here."  
  
Galadriel sighed, turning her head to look at the Elfling. Angst she had expected, rebellion would have been natural, but this? It was not even rational; this was completely immature. Trying not to frown she said, "We do not always get what we want, Arwen, as you shall learn." It had always been Galadriel's suspicion that Elrond spoiled the girl, he never had known what to do with females. His courtship of Celebrian had indeed been something memorable. . .  
  
Arwen had not meant to sound like that. She wanted her grandmother to think well of her, really she did, but she was still angry inside. Her anger was not contained to one person or being, but spread evenly amongst just about everyone she knew: Lord Elrond, who had simply let her leave Imladris, Galadriel, who had given her no choice, Elladan and Elrohir, for not even being there to say goodbye. More tears itched from behind her eyes. "This is not like that," she said, gritting her teeth. "Rivendell is my home. I have family there, my father and my brothers. Here I have nothing! No siblings, no friends, no memories...no memories of my mother. . ." She tried hard, really she did, but the thought of her mother, though she had left nearly four hundred years ago, still made her cry.  
  
Galadriel looked at her granddaughter, then up into the woods. She had memories of Celebrian here, friends as much as a Ringbearer had friends, love as much as a Ringbearer loved. . .She was searching for something to tell Arwen to comfort her, perhaps some story of Celebrian's girlhood. "I wish I were home," Arwen sniveled, burning at how childish she was acting. Galadriel hadn't the heart to tell Arwen that this was her home now. 


	2. House in the Trees

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters and/or places.  
  
Jaid Skywalker: Thanks. Sorry this chapter took so long, I was really unsure of how Lothlorien looked.  
  
Author's note: Okay, I was uncertain of how Lorien would look, so I did my best with it.  
  
*****  
  
Never before had Arwen seen anything quite like what she saw in Lothlorien. There were houses there that were, like all houses, made up of rooms. However, these rooms were separated by open walkways, and were not on the ground but in the trees. Arwen stood in awe, her jaw slightly parted and her sorrow momentarily forgotten. She tried to imagine living in one of those houses. What would it be like? Did anyone ever lose their footing? Surely Elves never tripped and fell.  
  
"You see, it is not as bad as you would like to think," Galadriel said. Arwen looked at her dryly.  
  
"I hate this place," she sneered, "and I always will."  
  
"My dear child, you cannot hide your thoughts from me," Galadriel said, somewhat amused with this brat of a girl. Arwen, for her part, was shocked. Did she really have that little privacy? Really, when she was getting her courses or, say, kissing a boy, would every thought she had be subject to Galadriel's interpretation? That seemed simply perverse. "The door to your bedroom locks."  
  
Arwen's eyes were suddenly wide with shock as she stared in unspeakably fury at the Lady of the Wood. Galadriel smiled lightly, her eyes laughing. Words spluttered to the surface of Arwen's mind, some words "young ladies" were not supposed to know, but her mouth would not speak any of them, so angry was she. Heat rose in her extremities. Galadriel, who seemed to find this rather amusing, rode onwards. Arwen growled, but rode after her grandmother.  
  
Once their horses had been properly cared for, the two women headed up a rather long staircase that led around the trunk of a tree. Arwen dared to gaze over the railing, and she could feel her pulse begin to race. Her breath caught as she imagined falling from such a great height, tumbling for an eternity before a painful death. . .  
  
And another memory came to Arwen. She had been just a few years old when her brother Elladan decided to teach her how to ride a horse. He had chosen a stallion that belonged to their father's friend Glorfindel, and Elladan had placed Arwen upon the horse. She had been scared almost out of her wits, screaming more and louder than she had thought possible. Thrashing about so badly that her brother could not touch her, Arwen's fear elevated so that she wet herself, and even after Elladan took her down she was shaking.  
  
Arwen was brought out of her reverie by a warm hand covering her own. She looked up, lip quivering, the sole sign of her fear, to see Galadriel, with a smile that was all at once reassuring and compassionate. "Would you rather be nearer to the ground?" Galadriel asked kindly.  
  
"No," Arwen replied firmly, her voice hardened against the old woman's benevolence. "I would rather be in the highest branch of the tallest tree."  
  
Galadriel sighed. "This can be easy or it can be difficult, that is your decision." The two stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, Galadriel searching Arwen's mind, and Arwen challenging Galadriel with all her might. "Very well." She began to continue, then turn so suddenly Arwen nearly walked right into her. "And one more thing; I am not an old woman."  
  
Arwen worked on hardening herself inside as she followed Galadriel higher into the tree. No matter what acts of kindness the old witch put on, Arwen would be wise to her tricks. Galadriel was chuckling inside. So, Arwen, she thought, you fancy yourself something of a scrapper? Very well, child, very well, we will play that game for a while. Just like stubborn little Celebrian had refused to study, Galadriel had invented a game then, too, and before she knew it Celebrian could count higher than sixteen hundred, her favourite number.  
  
*****  
  
Later that evening, the two had a lot of time for thought. Galadriel had created that time for herself, having Celeborn take care of political matters and such things. Arwen had little choice, being locked in her room without anything better to do. She had not done anything wrong. . .anything much. She had simply expressed an opinion.  
  
Galadriel sighed as she remembered what had gone on that evening. Arwen had not even bothered to mask her unmannered contempt for everyone and everything, glaring at Celeborn as if she were trying to set him afire with only her gaze. As if that had not been enough, and it had been ignored, the child had to go and state the Lothlorien was "just about the worst place I have ever been, and I would rather spend the rest of my life living in Fangorn forest." Which was exactly what had landed her in her room.  
  
Perhaps, Galadriel thought, I was a bit too hard on her. This is her first day in a new place, it is only natural that she lash out a bit. She does not know that this is best for her. Arwen appeared to be the type whose stubbornness was worn down by equal stubbornness, but could it be that she needed compassion? Elflings that age were very emotional and difficult to judge.  
  
Meanwhile, Arwen was rifling through her belongings. Buried beneath all her others things, her clothes and the few pictures that Elladan had given to her (he had an uncanny ability with charcoal), was a long object wrapped in worn grey cloth. As she unwrapped the cloth and drew her sword, stress and anger slid off Arwen's shoulders.  
  
Slowly she sliced through the air, curving the blade this way and that. She thrust the weapon forward then pulled back, twisted up, down, and side to side. Any foe who opposed her, anyone she chose to envision before her, was instantly chopped to a bloody carcass. Most of her anger was towards her family. "Ada," she whispered, "for sending me away. Elladan and Elrohir, you cowardly dogs, for not being there to defend me or to say goodbye. Galadriel, most of all, you evil wench. I hate everything that you are. And Naneth, for leaving me so alone, and so empty."  
  
Arwen drove her sword forward, through the ghostly form's heart. Like vapor the vision was gone, and Arwen felt more anger, and differently placed. She placed the cold steel of the blade against her breast, loving knowing that she could end it then and there with one quick thrust, loving the power in her hands that she knew she would never use.  
  
Suddenly Arwen felt something warm and sticky. Looking down, she saw that the sword had punctured her skin, and blood was seeping through the flesh. That had not been her intention! For a moment she could do nothing but stare, and that moment was enough.  
  
A sharp sound came from the doorway. Arwen looked up to see Galadriel, her face blank of any and all emotion. Again words failed her, but she knew what Galadriel was thinking, how wrong she was about Arwen's meaning.  
  
It was a cruel and bitter irony. 


	3. Friends in the Forest

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters and/or places thereof.  
  
Author's Note: O.k., they probably don't have pantsing in Middle-earth. . .but I just couldn't resist. . .  
  
Arwen Undomiel: Thanks! I'll e-mail you as soon as this chapter is posted.  
  
Hardcorewwnut: Eek! Sorry about the time between updates. Thanks! I did feel that, if I was showing Arwen's feelings, it would only be fair to show Galadriel's. Say, weren't you beta-reading 'Beat of my own Drum'?  
  
*****  
  
Arwen reflected on her situation. Since Galadriel found her with a knife to her breast, there had hardly been a moment when Arwen was not at her grandmother's side. She was thinking very angry thoughts about her family again, but could not bring herself to think such things about her mother. Lothlorien, however, she was cursing profusely. Galadriel's face contorted slightly at one particular bad curse, and Arwen knew she had seen that thought. Well, good! Let her know how much I hate it here!  
  
After five minutes of solid mental curses, Galadriel turned to Arwen and said, "We will discuss your behaviour later." Arwen said nothing, but put aside her hatred momentarily as an Elven boy and girl approached. They were both blonde, and around her age. The boy took note of her, and his eyes widened slightly, but the girl was too wrapped up in her fuming and rage to notice anything else.  
  
"My Lady," said the boy, bowing to Galadriel. "My sister has something to tell you," he said roughly jostling the girl. She shook him off angrily.  
  
"It's Haldir's fault!" the girl announced. "I did nothing."  
  
"She wanted to learn how to use a bow, my Lady, and I was the only one around. . .I refused to teach her, so she took it upon herself to learn. She pierced the ground and nearly your mirror," the boy said. Galadriel opened her mouth to speak, and the girl dashed off. "Carach!" shouted the boy, then he turned to Galadriel and said hurriedly, "My Lady, I apologize, her behaviour is inexcusable, I know." He bowed quickly and chased after the girl.  
  
Arwen decided that the girl might be all right, although a bit young. Haldir was clearly in love with her, or thought he was. Arwen hated being beautiful--she was, and it was not vanity that made her say so. The girl had hardly noticed her, which in Arwen's opinion was a very good thing.  
  
"Arwen," Galadriel commanded, as though Arwen were a dog, "go to your room, and stay there. I will speak with you later, but first I have to sort out this. . .situation."  
  
Arwen curtsied, then turned and walked away. Her room? Her room was back in Rivendell. Had the Lady just given her permission to leave? She laughed at herself, shaking her head. It was tempting to leave the room, saddle her horse, and ride like the wind. Much as she wanted to do this, she could not, for her father would send her back to Lothlorien--with an escort, most likely--and then things would only be worse. Arwen opted, instead, to sit and wait for Galadriel to come and lecture her.  
  
*****  
  
Haldir, meanwhile, was chasing his sister, who was running for all she was worth. "Carach, I swear to you! When I catch you, you are in so much trouble! This is worse than--worse than--" he searched his memories. What as the absolute worst? "--Worse than the time you pantsed me in front of the Lady!"  
  
The sound of laughter stopped Haldir in his tracks. He spun around to see yet another blonde-haired Elf bent double with laughter. At last the Elf straightened, and he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, "Your little sister did that to you? In front of Galadriel?" He could hardly keep back another giggle.  
  
"Legolas," Haldir said through clenched teeth. "I did not know you were visiting. . ."  
  
*****  
  
". . .completely inappropriate. You must remember, Arwen, that you are a lady, and your actions here reflect on the reputation of your family and of all Rivendell. You may think what you like, but act as a mature, responsible Elf ought to. Is this understood?"  
  
"Yes, Lady," Arwen replied, trying to sound chastised. In truth she had heard what Galadriel said, but not minded or even comprehended a word of it.  
  
"Good. I shall leave you alone for the rest of the evening to think things over," Galadriel said, and with that she left. Arwen waited for only a moment before throwing open her window and climbing out of it. Her fear of heights was intense, but she had asked for this and would face her fear. Progress down the tree was slow, her heart racing, but inch by inch Arwen made her way to the ground.  
  
*****  
  
"I heard rumor that Elladan and Elrohir's young sister is here in Lothlorien," Legolas said, politely changing the topic.  
  
"She must be the Elf I saw early, standing beside the Lady. She was beautiful," Haldir said, not aware that the last part had been said out loud.  
  
"Just a small hint, Haldir, but do not woo her as you did the Lady," Carach said. It took Haldir a moment to realize that his sister was referring to that aforementioned embarrassing episode, and he blushed.  
  
*****  
  
"She was beautiful. . ."  
  
Recognizing the voice as that boy from earlier--what was his name? Haldir?-- Arwen paused. Hopefully he referred not to her! Perhaps his sister would be with him, she thought, and set off in the direction of his voice. Arwen paused when she saw Haldir, Carach, and Legolas, an Elf who visited her brothers often, standing beneath the trees, laughing--though Haldir seemed not amused. Her heart sank in pity.  
  
"Speaking of your lady-love," Legolas said with a wink at Haldir, "here she is now. Hello there! Are you not the sister of Elladan and Elrohir of Imladris? What is your name again? Arun?" this last bit was called to Arwen, who grimaced at such abuse of her proper name.  
  
Arwen stepped closer to the three, and at once disliked them. Haldir stared at her, in an appropriate place but the fact alone that he stared bothered her. Legolas looked on her as "Elladan and Elrohir's little sister" and she knew. Carach, for her part, was not as bad, she was simply there, laughing at everything.  
  
"My name is Arwen, and if you so abuse it again you shall regret it," she stated. The past two days had been just awful for Arwen, and she was frankly in a terrible mood. Physical threats were one thing she had always been quite terrible about, and try as they might (and had), her parents could not keep her from using them. Anyway, most of the Elves around her age knew to take her word for it.  
  
"My Lady," said Haldir with a bow, "please excuse my comrades."  
  
"I shall," said Arwen, "if you refrain from ever looking at me, ever again, in the place you just looked."  
  
"I. . .I am sorry, my lady," Haldir stammered.  
  
Arwen smiled. "Good! I am here against my will, and it would be quite better if we could just be friends. Does anybody protest this?" No one did. Carach, however, was curious.  
  
"You are here against your will?" she asked. Carach had grown up in Lothlorien, and she did not love it, though it was her home.  
  
"Yes," Arwen said sadly, "and without reason!"  
  
"That is terrible! You mean your grandmother made you come, even though you do not want to be here?" Carach asked, to which Arwen nodded. "We should do something. . .we should run away." Carach was a young girl, and taken to childish fantasies as such. This one, however, appealed to the desperate Arwen.  
  
"Yes," said Arwen, "let's." Carach was amazed. She had not truly meant it. . .but now her integrity was being tested, and she could not back down. Arwen spat into her palm and offered it to Carach, who nervously spat into her own and shook. 


End file.
